Serving Oakland · Macomb · Wayne counties
Family guide
Home care for aging veterans: a guide for families
When a parent or spouse who served starts needing help at home, the options can feel scattered. This guide puts them in one place, from the first signs to getting VA-authorized care started.
Signs it may be time for help at home
Most families don't decide all at once. It builds up. These are common signs that an older veteran could use help at home:
- A fall, or a near-fall, especially in the bathroom or on stairs
- Skipped meals, weight loss, or an empty refrigerator
- Missed medications or doctor's appointments
- Wearing the same clothes for days, or avoiding showers
- Bills piling up, or new confusion about everyday things
- A spouse or adult child who is exhausted from doing it all
- Coming home from the hospital and not yet steady
If you see two or three of these, it's worth a conversation with the veteran and with the VA social worker.
Step one: VA health care enrollment
Most VA help at home runs through VA health care, so enrollment comes first. Many older veterans never enrolled because they had other insurance or assumed they wouldn't qualify.
You can apply on va.gov, by phone or in person. Have the veteran's discharge papers (DD214) if you can, but don't let missing paperwork stop you. Your county veterans services office can help for free; we list the Oakland, Macomb and Wayne offices on our service area page.
VA options for aging at home, from light help to more support
| Option | Best when | Learn more |
|---|---|---|
| Homemaker / Home Health Aide | The veteran needs regular hands-on help with bathing, dressing, meals or housekeeping | Our home health aide guide |
| Respite care | A spouse or adult child does most of the caregiving and needs a break | Our respite guide |
| Veteran-Directed Care | The veteran wants to hire their own helpers, often family or friends | Our Veteran-Directed Care guide |
| Adult day health care | The veteran would benefit from daytime activities and company, and the caregiver works or needs time | VA adult day health care |
| Home Based Primary Care | The veteran has complex health needs and has trouble getting to the clinic | VA home and community-based services |
| Skilled home health care | The veteran needs nursing or therapy at home, often after a hospital stay | VA home and community-based services |
VA decides eligibility for each service. Your VA social worker can explain which ones fit.
Benefits worth checking for an older veteran
- VA home care. Based on need, not disability rating. Read Does the VA pay for home care?
- Aid and Attendance. Monthly payments added to a VA pension for veterans and survivors who qualify. See VA's Aid and Attendance page. Get free help applying from an accredited Veterans Service Officer; never pay someone to file.
- Caregiver support. VA supports family caregivers through two programs and the Caregiver Support Line at 1-855-260-3274. See caregiver.va.gov.
- Memory care at home. If memory is changing, read our guide to in-home dementia care for veterans.
Talking with the veteran about help
Many veterans don't want help, and they especially don't want to feel like a burden. A few approaches that tend to go better:
- Start with their goal. "You want to stay in this house. Let's make that work."
- Keep it small at first. A few hours a week for showers and meals is easier to accept than "full-time care."
- Frame it as earned. VA home care is a benefit of their service, not charity.
- Include them in choosing. Let them meet the caregiver and set the schedule.
- Bring in someone they trust. Their VA doctor, a fellow veteran, or a chaplain can help.
Questions to ask any home care agency
- Do you accept VA community care referrals in our county?
- How soon can care start once VA sends the referral?
- Will we have the same caregiver each visit?
- How do you train caregivers for dementia and safe transfers?
- What happens if a caregiver is sick?
- Will we ever get a bill for VA-authorized hours?
- What don't your caregivers do? (A good agency will be clear about the limits of non-medical care.)
Our answers: yes in Oakland, Macomb and Wayne counties; we call as soon as we receive the referral; we try to send the same caregiver; dementia-aware care is part of our caregivers' work; we arrange coverage and tell you ahead of time; no bill for VA-authorized hours; and we don't give medications, injections or wound care.
Common questions
At what age can a veteran get VA home care?
There is no set age. VA home care is based on need, such as help with daily activities or memory problems, and on enrollment in VA health care.
Can an elderly veteran get VA home care without a disability rating?
Yes. A service-connected disability rating is not required. Many veterans who get home care have no rating.
What if my parent refuses help?
That's common. Start small, focus on staying at home, and let the veteran help choose the caregiver and schedule. Their VA doctor or social worker can also help with the conversation.
Who can help us apply for VA benefits for free?
County veterans services offices and accredited Veterans Service Officers help at no cost. Be wary of anyone who asks for money to help with a VA benefit claim.
Does VETTED serve my area?
We serve veterans across Oakland, Macomb and Wayne counties in Southeast Michigan, from our office in Troy.
Independent and veteran-owned. VETTED is not part of, and does not speak for, the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs. VA alone decides eligibility and authorized hours. Information on this site is general and is not a benefit determination. Page last updated September 24, 2026.